The Da Vinci Code unveiled a heresy that was intended to capsize Christianity, Angels & Demons aimed a nuke at the Vatican, and The Lost Symbol revealed the government in Washington to be a coven of Freemasons practising sinister rites. The trouble is that he aims to replace both sacred dogma and secular law with his own conspiratorial farrago.
Brown reviles religion and treats earthly powers as a pious imposture. "I am your salvation," he adds, although that salvation involves mass extermination. "I am the Shade," the bioterrorist who menaces our species balefully croaks in Inferno. Like a nutty magus, Brown smirks as his plots fast-forward human history to the last days, when we will all be raptured into annihilation by bombs, vials of antimatter particles or a lethal pandemic.
Hogwarts Academy, compared with Brown's brain, is a clean, well-lighted, supremely lucid place. He views creation as a cryptogram, and babbles about murderous albino priests, self-gelded ogres and a female devil who dresses in black leather and bestraddles a motorbike he is fiendishly elated by the prospect of the world's imminent demise. Inferno begins with the hero suffering from "head trauma", and Brown's head – a boggy hideout for the craziest superstitions of the so-called Dark Ages – seems to be similarly traumatised. Now, after reading the latest version of the apocalyptic thriller he rewrites every few years, I suspect he might be mad as well. I used to think that Dan Brown was merely bad.
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